a little love letter
my darling,
last night was rather hard - reminiscing of your gentle touch that makes
me quiver from my outer skin to my inner soul.
i remembered that first kiss that made me tingle from my chest.. down
to my stomach, i also remembered the first time your hands touched my cold heart.
ultimately, i remembered the first time you made my stomach feel those butterflies flying.
If I could, I'd take your hand and lead you into a quiet clear night under the ceiling of the stars right now.
There are a lot of things I want to say, but I find it hard to say them lately.
I feel a little bit scared - cos you made me feel so wonderful - now the challenge of melting me, of doing the total attachment has been done has the urge been lost? I thought you could handle me - now that you've got me just where you want me - what now?
Now that you have enveloped me with the unthinkable I am lost.
I tell myself that it's okay,"be patient, barbara"...
that I don't owe you anything, that I am allowed to keep as much as I want to myself.
But the truth is I want to be loud and brave as I've been in the past.
Some days, I'm bursting with stories to tell you about my day, my plans, you and i...
Some days I just want to cry as I feel sad about things and I wanted to so much share that with you -
I just don't know where to begin, so I never do. Soon, too much time has passed, and it's a closed chapter in a book.
My stories are filled with ache and beauty, truth and happiness - Those are the ones I like to share with you.
Those are the ones I want to tell... Sometimes I feel you don't want to listen anymore...
I am trying to find my voice again. I suspect that wherever it is, I'll find my hope and faith there too.. And that love I once felt.
What am I holding on to?
If only you could see into me
Oh when you're cold
I’ll be there to hold you tight to me
When you're on the outside baby and you can’t get in
I will show you - you're so much better than you know
When you're lost,
when you're alone and you can’t get back again
I will find you darling I’ll bring you home